


Petunia’s Long Morning

by mcepl



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Adultery, F/M, Implied/Referenced Cheating
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-09
Updated: 2019-05-09
Packaged: 2020-02-29 03:41:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,534
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18770464
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mcepl/pseuds/mcepl
Summary: This was the craziest thing Petunia decided to do in her life: speak the truth. Also, how parents disappoint us.





	Petunia’s Long Morning

**Author's Note:**

  * For [mzzbee](https://archiveofourown.org/users/mzzbee/gifts).
  * Inspired by [Petunia's Family Issues](https://archiveofourown.org/works/13682133) by [mzzbee](https://archiveofourown.org/users/mzzbee/pseuds/mzzbee). 



> This is the continuation after the third chapter of “Petunia’s Family Issues” by mzzbee. We are after the war (mostly canonical, with the only exception that also Molly was killed by Tom Riddle just after she finished Bellatrix Lestrange), and grieving Weasley children (& Harry and Hermione) just found out there is at least something like an affair between Arthur and Petunia. What they don’t know there was a full-blown adultery between two of them for couple of years already interrupted only in the final part of the war.

Breakfast was a rather tense affair. Ron was obviously a bit ashamed for the yesterday’s outburst and all others were ashamed to ask all those questions they have in their heads.

Petunia looked around and for the first time in long time she was thinking about long time plans now when she agreed with Arthur there is a future for them. One thing she always liked about the Weasley family was their openness and living together. Despite the big secret of Arthur’s infidelity, she knew that the standard was to keep everything in open, blow over it, have a fight, and then get over all disputes, and be truly together. After living for twenty years in marriage which was full of lies from the top to bottom, she felt really guilty when tearing this wonderful family of redheads apart. She felt urgent pressure to do something.

She turned to Arthur.

“I think I’ll prepare one more pot of tea, and we all need to sit down and talk. Fleur, could you help me in the kitchen, please?”

She stood up and turned to the kitchen without looking at Arthur or waiting on his opinion. Only when she filled the kettle with water, she considered what he thinks about it. She passed the kettle to Fleur and asked her to make it boil, and then she turned to find Arthur. He was standing at the eating table and his face was a clear combination of insecurity and fear. She walked back to the main room and caught his hands.

He wanted to say something, but she didn’t let him talk.

“I am afraid as well what will happen, but if you mean what you were saying yesterday evening, we cannot lie about it. Don’t you see how it tears your family apart?”

“Don’t you think, it is too early? There is too much pressure on this family already, how will we survive yet another crisis?”

Petunia finally stopped. Not because she would be too much afraid of yet another stress on the Weasley family, but because she felt poorly for pressing Arthur to do something he obviously did not want to do.

“I am sorry, Arthur, this is probably just my idea, and I am pressing you into something which you don’t want to do. I am sorry. Perhaps, you are right and this family should have its time to heal first. However, I don’t think it is right to live a lie with people you love, and I don’t think I am able to do it anymore. I am looking forward to every minute I could stay with you, but if you think this family is not ready for the truth, I would suggest we wait for some time with starting our relationship. I know my life is not at the end, so I can wait until you are ready, but I guess I am too tired from having a secret affair for too long.”

Arthur was looking at her for long moment, and Petunia started to fear he seriously considers keeping himself away. She started to repeat her mantra “ _I will survive_ ” in her head, but in the end, Arthur said something different.

“You are right, this will blow over eventually, and comparing to missing … Molly and Fred, this is _nothing_. It may turn pretty nasty though before everybody turns around. And no, I don’t want you to go away, just contrary, please, stay, I will need you even more if it gets bad. Are you willing to survive bad times? It is too soon.”

Petunia knew that she could finally smile.

“Arthur, I survived almost twenty years with Vernon, I survived Eva Dursley, these youngsters have no idea how to be nasty. And if I can do it for somebody whom I love … Let me make that tea.”

She squeezed his hand and returned to the kitchen to finish the tea. The tea pot they had was a huge one, she had to hold it with both hands because obviously the family with seven children required something more substantial than basic teapot. She carried it to the table, and then she waited for Arthur to start the talking.

He waited for a moment before everybody sat down and before even Ron refreshed his cup.

“We would like to tell you a story, but first of all I have to ask you to be silent until we finish. It is very difficult to tell it all, and I don’t think I can take stink from you again after the yesterday’s show. Could you please keep your questions after we finish?”

That was obviously too much for Ron. Despite obvious Hermione’s effort, he shouted out:

“Show? You two were the ones who made the show! It’s just half year since mum is in her grave and you …”

“Ron! You don’t want to finish this sentence!” Petunia was surprised that it was Hermione, not Arthur who put him down.

“That’s exactly why he asked you to shut up. Do so and listen for once.”

It was obvious Ron was ready to fight back, but Ginny was faster. She pointed her wand to him and shouted “ _Silencio!_ ”

“Ron, I am not much happy with this either, but we can probably give the dad courtesy of waiting to finish. Go on, Dad!”

That didn’t help, Ron obviously couldn’t say anything, so he jumped up and run out of the house. Hermione was looking after him for a moment, but then she just sat down, sip her tea and waited for Ron to cool down on his own.

Arthur sighed, and then decided that he has just enough strength to talk and not to fight the whole family before even saying anything.

“I would like to tell you a story of our life with … your mum you haven’t heard yet.

First of all, let me say that I made various choices about my marriage and this family, and I don’t regret them. These choices cost me, but that’s what you do in your life. When you will start your families, you will find out you are willing to sacrifice a lot for them. I knew what I was doing and I have got wonderful family as result. I would do it for you again, just that getting all this was not for free.

Bill, you know you were born less than nine months after our marriage, and Charlie you came to us pretty soon after Bill was one. We were so young and in such a whirlwind with you two and whole marriage thing, we both started to think about our future only after our second child was around. We soon found our expectations about lives were not compatible and not very much realistic. Molly was passionate about family, but she was ready to slow down with kids or give up on more kids completely and trying to get back to the Auror training and juggle family and work together. I was thinking about that my passion for all things muggle led me to teaching Muggle Studies at Hogwarts, but I still dreamed about large family and finally breaking that curse on the Weasley family of not having any daughters. These two dreams even did not work with each other, because for large family I would have to provide large salary and that’s not exactly what you get at Hogwarts for Muggle Studies teachers. We fought about that bitterly and with the Weasley temperament we all know and cherish we soon found our marriage to be on the rocks. We haven’t managed to find a compromise, and we were heading straight for divorce.”

Shock on faces of young children in the family made it clear that obviously Arthur and Molly never managed to admit the state of their marriage to them.

“Molly took you, Bill and Charlie, and moved back with her parents. I have started to work on my Mastery in Muggle Studies and soon I was knees deep in writing my theses on the influence of electricity on the domestic life of muggles. I felt completely out of my comfort zone pretty soon, so in the end I asked a muggle-born I knew the best, your mum, Harry, whether I could live with her family in Cokeworth, so I could learn something about how muggles actually live. I spent whole summer holidays there, and it was one of the most wonderful seasons of my life. I really expected my marriage was in the end, and I felt free to fall in love with Petunia, who was young, smart, and beautiful.”

Petunia heard Harry’s snort after Arthur complimented her, but she chose not to say anything. Arthur stopped in his talk just long enough to make everybody slightly uncomfortable and that everybody knew he noticed it, but then he continued without saying anything aloud.

“In the end of the Summer we were so close, that after some influence of wine, it was very hot evening and night, we ended up together … well, doing it … right there on the blanket in the garden under stars; well, under stars, it was in the middle of the city, so not many stars were visible.

Fate had it that just the very next morning I’ve got a letter from Molly suggesting compromise. She said she doesn’t want to care for children without their father, and she is willing to go for the large family, breaking down the Weasley hereditary curse on male sons only, giving up on her Auror career, if I am willing to give up on the teaching post at Hogwarts and taking any post at the Ministry which will pay enough salary for large family.

It was a blow for us, of course, a way harder for Petunia, because she got nothing from this deal. I just knew when reading the letter, there is no way in the world I could refuse the offer, and with many apologies to Petunia, I haven’t. I haven’t ever regretted that, because I’ve got to be a father to the most awesome family of redheads anybody ever seen anywhere and I spent next twenty years or so with you … and with Molly.”

In the end he was almost crying. Petunia was strongly tempted to hug him and comfort him right there, but she hasn’t dared to increase already high tension in the room. She thought it to be better, if she continued, and before she spoke about her thing, she followed up on the Arthur’s speech.

“I remember one day in the summer while Lily was still in Hogwarts, and we were somehow in the more peaceful state of our relationship than its usual rather low-level disgust and jealousy. We talked about our ideas on marriage. Lily was defending her rather romantic idea that most important part is two people meet who belong to each other, and for every boy there is the girl, and only they will make themselves happy. I believe she was still in her stage of rejecting all James’ advances, so I believe it was honest and purely theoretical on her part. I was defending what my mother always taught us, that despite all romantic literature and films, good marriage is mostly result of hard work of both husband and wife, there is no couple doomed to happiness or to failure, just those who are willing to talk, confess and forgive as long as their relationship growths to happiness. We were still teenagers, very passionate about our opinions, and I think, and all you youngsters should listen to me, I think both wrong.

Lily and James were married just for three years and although they quite certainly loved each other very much, their marriage was quite wild. They were living in the middle of the war, obviously under awful amount of stress, which probably didn’t help, and although my relationship with Lily was then already rather tense, I know they fought a lot. Probably, if given more time for their marriage they would make it through fights and found their happiness, but alas we will never know for sure.

I followed my own advice as well. After the disaster with Arthur I decided to forget everything about the magical world and I waited for the first guy I could find, who show any interest. And he was already there, Vernon Dursley. He was making some interested noises even before the summer, and although even to my depressed and hurt vanity it was obvious, he is a third-class amateur actor to Arthur, I have just decided to make it work. Let my marriage be clear warning to anybody who believes that every two persons can make a marriage work. Or perhaps, it was because he was completely not interested in any trying, because obviously he is already perfect. I don’t know about any woman who could make truly happy wife to Vernon. Perhaps Marge, his sister, but an incest is not an option for his normalcy-obsessed world, so there is no hope for him.

My point is that I really still don’t know what’s more important for the happy marriage. I am just certain neither of these extremes is enough alone.”

Harry’s face was white as chalk — obviously idea of Vernon and Marge together was pretty disgusting to him. Then he exploded with laughter. It took him some time before he calmed himself to some resemblance of normal human being. When Ginny asked what’s so funny, he tried to explain:

“Imagine Alecto and Amycus Carrow going for it, but each of them weighs two hundred pounds. And they are meaner.”

Room was suddenly completely silent. Nobody else found this image funny. Petunia decided, it’s better to continue.

“What I’ve just said was only a comment on what Arthur had said before, I wanted to say a different story.

When I was fifteen (and Lily was fourteen) our parents had a big row over one tree in our garden. Our home was exceptional in the neighbourhood because it was in the corner of the street and as a result it had the largest garden around. There were two large birch trees in its corner and the one was not very healthy, but still so tall it cast shadow over big part of the plot, even on the house. Our father wanted to cut the tree down, so we would have lighter and warmer house. Mum disagreed, she wanted to preserve every living thing just on the principle. Arguments had no end, and they were in the end pretty nasty and loud.

Then one day when I was watering flowerbeds, I looked on the tree and found to my surprise there is a plastic stopper on the side of it. It looked strange and completely out of the place. After looking at it for a moment, I pulled it off, and I’ve found there is a hole in the trunk filled with some brownish greenish smelly substance. Having hose in my hand I immediately cleaned the hole of all the substance only to find out it was highly corrosive garden weed killer, which would certainly kill the tree in couple of days. I immediately knew what was going on: our father wanted to kill it behind the mum’s back and then present her with a _fait accompli_! I run to the father and believe me that day it wasn’t row between our dad and our mum which was the loudest one.

I was completely livid with him. Anger was so high that for the first time in my life I was seriously contemplating running from home and living on streets just to get clear of his presence in my life. I was so mad with him, I had hard time from not beating him physically. Funnily enough, it was the first and last time I went to our local church to talk with our vicar there. Evanses were a good Anglican family, meaning we haven’t darkened the door of the church more than on Christmas and Easter, but I felt like possessed, something was so wrong I couldn’t get a handle of it. It took the vicar no more than five seconds before he knew what was going on, and he was able to explain it to me.

Every child has a natural tendency to see their parents as the measure of what’s right in the world, and he told that parents somehow stand for God in the child’s life. Even when they are good at asking for forgiveness for everyday mistakes and wrongs, and ours were very sheltered and mostly ignorant to their own failings, this perfect image is in normal circumstances kept until teen-age years. It is usually really life-shattering event when it happens. I have just found out my father did something wrong. Not wrong just by a mistake, or silly “I had a right intent, but it went wrong”. Something truly and intentionally wrong, which had no excuse. Disillusionment and loss of this kind of child innocence is so painful that many times parents switch rather swiftly from having that God-like quality to being just opposite, the symbol of everything evil in the world.

I returned to the school for another term with understanding in my head of what’s going on, but it took me years before I got over the feeling of betrayal and loss of my illusion. Only during the Christmas break I was able to catch up with Lily. She very much noticed the whole affair, and she was similarly confused as I was, but somehow, she managed to keep herself better together. We have never talked about it after, and I guess she got over it quite quickly. Actually, thinking about it, I have probably never told my father until his death, that I had finally forgiven him, and I had accepted him as a good though failing human being.

I know, I have never went through horrors you all went, and with a little I got, I still have no idea what to do with the bastard who killed my sister, or heck I haven’t started to process my feelings around Vernon, my former husband, but that’s something a bit different, I think. This is more about that shattered ideal, about father pouring down weed-killer to a tree. I am telling you all this obviously because what I and Arthur did in the last couple of years is something, I am not completely proud of.

And I tell it also because forgiving others is the first step and first foundation for forgiving ourselves, and I have so much to forgive myself. Most of all, of course, I will never stop feeling guilty about the way Harry doesn’t even have to deal with any good image of us, because the way we treated him all his childhood never left him in doubts we are not the God. I guess, we don’t have anything than asking for forgiveness and trying next day to do better than the previous one. It is not much. It is not enough.”

And then she told them whole story. She told them all. About the fear, anger, and grief when she found Harry on her doorstep one rainy cold November morning. She told them how they treated Harry during his childhood, how her hopes that her marriage could be made to work failed her, how she was falling deeper and deeper into depression. She told them her side of the visit from Arthur and other Weasleys with exploding fireplace, how she met him afterwards in the pub. How she met Healer Parsiflage and discovered that she has been cursed, but also that she is a witch after all. She shocked Harry when she told him there was an attic, he never visited all his life in the Privet Drive, and what was going on behind his back, both magical and otherwise. She told them how she was gradually healed from the curse and learnt more and more charms. She told them also how they both decided with Arthur there was no future for their relationship, because she couldn’t leave Dudley and he couldn’t leave his whole family, Molly included. She told them about lonely last year, when she was waiting in the city, she hated for the piece of news she was afraid of. She told them about the lonely night when she was sitting in her ball gown with hot charmed sickle in her hand and cooling it only with her tears. She told them how she felt incredibly guilty and sorry for Arthur when he lost his wife, and how Vernon was not willing to leave Edinburgh, and how she decided she cannot live with somebody who hates who she is. She told them everything. She never for once apologized or explained anything, just told them what happened.

There was a long silent moment when she finished. Nobody said anything and Petunia started to fear the moment when the curses start fly in her direction. Still, nothing happened. Then, to her biggest surprise, Ginny stood up, came to Petunia, and without saying a word hugged her tightly.

**Author's Note:**

> There is a discrepancy in the timeline of the mzzbee story. According to [Harry Potter Wikia](https://harrypotter.fandom.com/wiki/Lily_J._Potter) Lily Evans studied at Hogwarts in years 1971-1978, so in the Summer 1975, she would be between her fourth and fifth year. However, only in the end of her fifth year (so a year later) she passed her O.W.L.s and the conflict with Snape publicly calling her Mudblood happened only then. It took her another year (between her sixth and seventh year, that is the Summer 1977) to warm up to James Potter.
> 
> In Summer 1975 Lily would likely spend her Summer still keeping up her friendship with Severus Snape. Petunia would be just 17, barely over her age of consent (Arthur was 25, which doesn't make too crazy age difference). BTW, both James and Lily would be 15, below their age of consent (which is 16 in UK).
> 
> In the end, I have decided to just let the story be even with this problem unresolved. It is worthy of it.


End file.
